


always coming home

by kikispiritrealm



Category: Stranger Things - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Supportive Siblings, Trauma, coming out story, joyce being a wonderful mother, soft shenanigans, will byers being a disaster gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 02:01:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19736095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kikispiritrealm/pseuds/kikispiritrealm
Summary: “The strange thing was that when I came among the grapevines on Topknot Hill and knew I was home, I was not altogether glad of it. Part of me wanted to be cold and terrified and lost in the fog, part of me was at home in the Seventh House, not in the High Porch House. So I went upstairs and woke my family to the sun.”Ursula K. Le Guin, The Stonetellers.(post season 3. may have spoilers.)





	always coming home

Will and El clutched onto the door handles as Joyce made a sharp turn into the quiet parking lot of Richwoods High School. She was out of breath from honking and screaming at every car in the late morning traffic.

“I’m so sorry guys,” she said, gripping the wheel, “I’m still used to everything being two minutes away.”

The sprawling campus of the Peoria, Illinois high school was lined with parked cars from employees and students, but only a few stragglers were left ringing the doorbell to be let in before first period. Joyce jerked the car to a stop and leaned into the backseat to plant a sloppy kiss on each of their foreheads. “I start my new job today, so I can’t be there when you get home, but there’s last night’s leftovers in the fridge and pizza pockets in the freezer if you need a snack. I love you both so much, and I wish you the best first day of school.”

“Thanks mom, we’ll look out for each other, I promise,” Will said, and opened the door to get out of the car.

“Love you,” they chorused together, and grabbed their backpacks.

There were tears in Joyce’s eyes and a deep-set worry in her heart as she peeled out of the parking lot, horn blaring, on her way to the hardware store where she interviewed last week. Their concrete apartment building, the school, and her new job were all within a five mile radius and in a triangular orientation. She spent the first week in Illinois stocking up on maps (of both the roads and topography), flashlights, batteries, gallons of water, and canned foods. The self-help book she bought on a whim said that this was all normal, and soon the constant fear she felt when she was away from her family would eventually fade. It sounded very hard to believe.

At the front of the school building, Will heard the bell for first period ringing through the linoleum and glass hallways. He extended his hand for El and she grasped it back in a reassuring way. They would get through this together. The principal was standing in the front office when they arrived, he was a sturdy man in a grey suit with an audacious tie pulled tight against his neck.

“Good morning, students,” he said when he saw them approaching, “are we starting the year off with a tardy slip?” He laughed.

Will shook his head, “we’re new, we just moved here. My mom said we should come to the office first. I’m Will Byers and this is Jane Hopper.”

“Let me look in the computer for you, darling,” the secretary said. Will noticed her name tag as he spelled out both of their names. Elaine. “Oh here you are, sugar. Yes, you’re in the same classes just like your Mom requested, and I can print out a copy of your schedule for you.”

“Hawkins, huh, that’s quite a drive, isn’t it,” the principal said, his expression darkening at the name. He looked on the verge of asking a barrage of questions, but the man held back. Will and El nodded and said thank you as the secretary handed them their schedule. The principal's face lit up again. “Alright kids, don’t be late tomorrow, we have our first assembly first thing in the gym. You gotta hear my stand-up routine, you’ll be falling out of your seats!” He laughed heartily and held onto the desk as they smiled and excused themselves.

The rest of the day was a blur of activity. El had trouble focusing and kept poking Will with her pencil when she couldn't understand the teacher. Will was equally distracted, his shoulders tensed up whenever he heard a whisper behind him or a quiet giggle. In Biology, the teacher introduced a seating plan and it was the only class where Will and El weren't sitting right next to each other. It was even harder to concentrate on frogs in the rainforest when he had to keep looking back to keep himself grounded. At lunch, they were asked “are you guys twins?” so many times that they started answering yes instead of trying to explain their entire family dynamic.

By the time the bus dropped them off a block from their new apartment building, they were both ready to explode. They walked home in silence, trying to outpace each other until they were sprinting down the street and through traffic. Hearts racing, and out of breath they dodged a neighbor exiting their building and jumped up the staircase to the second floor.

“Dibs on phone,” El yelled and swung her backpack behind the couch.

“No way!” Will complained, “you talked to Mike all day yesterday.” He placed his backpack on the floor next to the coat rack and headed toward the kitchen to heat up some chicken nuggets in the microwave.

“It’s Max,” El said, phone in hand, watching the clock until the minute she knew Max would be at home.

“I thought she was joining the lacrosse team? Don’t they have practice?”

“No practice,” El replied, “Billy’s house tonight for dinner.” 

The line was already ringing when he set down the plate in the living room and sat beside her, upside down on the couch, and feet hanging over the backrest. He reached for the book he was working on--Le Guin’s newest novel, on recommendation from Dustin (but he knew it really came from Suzie)--and buried his nose in it.

He listened to El and Max talk about their first day of school, how the lacrosse team was a little scared of Max because she wasn't afraid of tackles. El recounts how everyone kept correcting her name to spell E-l-l-e, and she didn't like it one bit. After a few minutes, their voices faded out, he found that he was re-reading the same line over and over:

“The strange thing was that when I came among the grapevines on Topknot Hill and knew I was home, I was not altogether glad of it. Part of me wanted to be cold and terrified and lost in the fog, part of me was at home in the Seventh House, not in the High Porch House. So I went upstairs and woke my family to the sun.”

The passage repeated in his head, echoing a sentiment he had never put in words. Since July 4th, the cold feeling at the back of his neck had morphed into a sense of dread. A sense that nothing had ended, and instead a fog had settled in their lives and they may never know what will appear in front of them. He jolted back into awareness as El pinched his arm like an overgrown crab. She had placed the phone down next to the receiver and Max was quiet on the other end. He blinked away tears in his eyes and accepted her help as he shakily flipped over to sit up on the couch.

“Is it scary?” she asked, pointing at the book. Will shook his head, but couldn’t speak for a few long minutes. She took some deep breaths with him, waiting for his heart to stop pulsing at lightning speed.

“I don’t know,” Will shrugged, and let out a short breathy laugh. As usual, he couldn’t remember what he had been thinking about. For a while this year, he worried that these episodes meant he was still under control of the mind-flayer; that he was an incubator, and the monster was biding its time growing stronger inside him. Now, he knew it was just in his head. He knew how to distinguish the cold, disquieting, prickle of the monster from his own irrational panic. At least now, he knew not to hide it, and he was glad to have El with him most of the time to bring him down from it.

El reached down to the plate on the table and offered him a nugget. His stomach churned and he shook his head. She shrugged and popped it in her mouth.

“Is-” she paused, and Will noticed not for the first time how carefully she choose her words around him, “everything is scary for me too,” she said.

Will nodded, and thanked her and he didn't mean to start laughing but she was open-mouth chewing a cold chicken nugget and sagely offering him life advice. He covered her mouth with his palm and she finally understood the joke and started laughing too. 

“I can hear you guys,” Max yelled over the phone, impatient as always and Will stood up to let them finish talking. They have homework for tomorrow and he figured he should get a head-start so he can help El later.

The evening passed uneventfully, as everyone preferred. They set the table, El launched her peas at Will who tried to catch them in his mouth. Following dinner was homework time. Thankfully, they had a light load on the first day of school. Then, the two little rascals marched to bed as Jonathan put it.

Despite the heavy traffic, and the noise of a sleepless city, Peoria was quieter than Hawkins. Layers of concrete, steel, and insulation sheltered the family from the outside world. At their old house, he could hear the wind rocking trees back and forth, and woodland creatures awakening in the night. Sometimes, he dreamt of himself as an owl perched atop the tallest tree in the forest. A tree so tall that the air was thin and hard to breathe. He had flown for so long, his wings had lost their energy and now, from atop that tree, he could only watch the world below. The only way to join it again was to fall.

He woke up to the sound of the refrigerator closing at one in the morning. Will glanced over to Jonathan’s bed and saw the blanket rising and falling steadily, the frantic workday having finally caught up to his brother. He slid out into the corridor and the light was on over the kitchen counter. El was sitting there licking a spoonful of chocolate ice cream.

“What are you doing?” Will asked, rubbing his eyes and trying not to sneeze at the bright light.

El looked surprised, and relaxed when she saw who it was. She slid a second spoon across the counter. “Can’t sleep. Don’t wanna go to school.”

“Yeah,” Will said, not really understanding. School had been a routine his entire life; a routine that he was more than happy to get back to after this summer. But he can understand how El might not feel that way. It was a brand new territory for her, where the rules of the upside down no longer applied. “Are you nervous about meeting people?”

“I want to,” said El, “but I’m different. No one else knows.” She frowned.

Two years ago, El was just a legend to him. A story his friends told him while he was in a hospital bed. But for all that they’ve been through together, El went through a lot more that the party couldn’t be there to help her with. 

“That’s ok, it just means that when they meet you, they’re getting to know the real you. Without all that other stuff.” El didn't look convinced, and Will tried to think of a way to explain that shared trauma shouldn’t be the only prerequisite for friendship. “I love you, and you’re going to be my sister even after we’re dead. But I have friends that aren’t my brother. You should have that too.”

El still looked uncertain, but she smiled anyway. “I love you, too, Will the Wise.”

The conversation ended there, but they kept eating ice cream while listening to the humming of the refrigerator. Something had been bothering him since this summer, something he felt when Jennifer Turner asked him to dance at the middle school Snow Ball back in 7th grade. It was a feeling he hadn’t given himself enough time to analyze. Now at one thirty in the morning, when only his sister was listening, he decided he might as well give it a name.

“Hey, um,” Will fiddled with the spoon and he can feel all of El’s attention focusing on him, “I don’t think..I mean- I- when I dance, or, um, no what I mean is-” he glanced up to meet her gaze; big mistake. She was so focused on him, waiting to hear what important detail Will was trying to tell her. “I don’t think I like Madonna…” he trailed off. 

She blinked and took a big bite of ice cream. “Okay?” She replied.

“That’s it,” Will said, “Good night.” He turned around and walked slowly to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He felt his heart pounding with guilt as he jumped back under the covers in his bed.

**Author's Note:**

> slight fixit where billy lives and is finally reckoning with his past mistakes because all teenagers deserve second chances. this is the softest thing i've ever written. i am melting with every word.


End file.
